I’m one of those people who after October 31st spirals into an odd mix of irritation, anxiety, anger, and sadness. Thanksgiving and Christmas are my least favorite days of the year because no matter how hard you try, you can’t ignore them. This is especially true when you’re the mother of three children living in your hometown of less than 2,000 people. Most of my family lives within driving distance. Everyone has demands and everyone wants to celebrate these holidays in the way they’ve been told culturally that it must be done. I long for a day when I can have everyone over to my place and we eat together and exchange a hand made gift with someone because we drew names to make it less stressful. Something like that. As it stands currently, the “celebrating” creates an unnecessary amount of stress for all in a time when nature in her darkness is calling us to be more insular and quiet. It’s all very counter intuitive.
The last few months have been a very tumultuous time in my day to day life. With that comes an ungodly amount of guilt and shame for not meeting my own expectations for my work (writing/intuitive guidance – divination/shadow-chakra work), and my spiritual practice (a mixture of philosophies and activities resulting in chaos magick or eclectic witchery). I battle multiple diagnoses of clinical mental illness, a dysautonomic heart condition, and multiple autoimmune diseases. My insurance has denied both medication and doctor visits that have been established for years. My little dog that I inherited this passed August when my grandmother passed away was attacked in my yard by other dogs and the vet bill was huge. A cat I rescued ended up having a strange and contagious infection that was transmittable to both humans and animals. She earned a $1500 vet bill for that. I moved to another home to be further from town and closer to the woods (one of the top 10 most stressful life occurrences). My middle daughter was denied the braces she needs by insurance. We all got norovirus, and I was diagnosed with another condition – Raynaud’s. All of this since mid-September. It feels like a curse, if I didn’t know better.
During all of this, I have still been trying to develop myself personally, effectively cope with my illnesses, grow my spiritual practice with magick and intention, and find a way to earn money since I cannot work a typical 9-5. Couple that with holidays that make be feel inadequate in my introversion and inability to participate in blanket consumerism, and I feel out of control. Easily, my negative self-talk grasps to words like “nothing,” “waste,” and “burden.” It chokes.
To find some solace and end the worst critic’s havoc within, I began making lists of the things I had been able to accomplish during this time on a day to day basis. I was shocked at all the things I had managed but did not acknowledge because it didn’t fit some predetermined standard I had in my head. I also found I was doing a hell of a lot of magick in the midst of the overwhelm.
As I share with you the magick I found hidden in what appeared to be mundane routine, I urge you to make your own list. If you begin with the premise that magick is the purposeful conduction of energy with an intention or goal in mind, you’ll be surprised too at how much you are doing it even if unconsciously. The way to remain connected to your magickal practice during times of high stress is to bring more conscious intention to the magick you are already conducting under the guise of chore or something else.
What follows is the list of magick I found that I was doing every day without fail. What magick are you doing?
Author: Kelli Hansel of Silfren Circle
Kelli Hansel finds safe and productive places darkness amidst a spiritual world feigning over white lights and positivity. She is a writer, intuitive guide, self empowerment teacher, and avid yoga witch. Making her home in the Appalachian mountains of Kentucky her witchery and approach is steeped in the mountain traditions. As a 200hr. RYT and 15+ year yogini and instructor, yoga and yogic philosophy deeply informs the magick. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, and her website – www.kellihansel.com.