With social media, it is easy to become enamored with the stories of spiritual influencers who talk about their awakenings - how they discovered their gifts through some kind of trial and tribulation, and are now living soul fulfilling lifestyles that support their passions. Although this is beautiful and inspiring, I think that for some of us a little newer to our journeys, who may be struggling with how we are meant to share ourselves with the world, hearing these stories can have us imagining what our spiritual journey is supposed to look like based on other people’s experiences. We start “shoulding” on ourselves.
As a late bloomer who started to awaken about 3 years ago at the age of 32, I am on this spiritual journey with a husband and 3 kids under the ages of 8. To say that this makes it a bit more difficult to find the time I’d like to dedicate to growing spiritually, would be an understatement.
I had often found myself daydreaming about what my life should look like, and becoming unsatisfied because it did not. I even became resentful at times because I felt that my responsibilities kept me from living the lifestyle I was ready to live - a life filled with freedom to travel to spiritually intoxicating destinations like India, or to meditate whenever I needed to ground into Mother Earth; a life where I sprinkled self-love over myself daily and was never concerned about abundance because there were no hesitations that the Universe would provide. I felt that I should be able to have it all because I was now understanding concepts like Law of Attraction and Manifestation. I should be able to know my purpose and live it!
The funny thing about “should” is that it is one of those words that you should only use when saying you should never use it. Definitely never use it when describing how you want your life to look. “Should” creates an expectation that may not be true for you. “Should” leads to disappointment because if that influencer’s life from which you borrowed a piece of your dream life from, is not your reality - which it is not - and this person’s journey is not in alignment with your own - which it probably is not - then that “should” is never going to happen.
We are Spiritual Beings living a human existence. Your Soul chose to incarnate in this lifetime and has chosen which experiences it wants to have in order to continue its evolution. It has chosen the perfect life for you to live to get to where you are meant to be and to become who you are meant to become! Once I remembered this, I was able to change my perspective to one that worked for me and not against me. Instead of thinking that being a mother and a wife was a hindrance to my spiritual growth, I started to see that my “challenges” were actually opportunities to practice concepts that are the foundation of many paths of Enlightenment.
Listening to your Intuition as a wife and a parent is not only important, it’s necessary! I remember one morning I was laying under the covers with my newborn while my then 2-year old was playing in the room. Without seeing what was about to happen, I heard a voice in my ear say, “Go!” I didn’t question it but knew exactly what to do. I flew across the bed just in time to catch the television that was about to fall on my child. She had opened all of the drawers in the dresser and it was about to tip over. To this day, I don’t know how I knew to react but I am thankful that I listened to my Intuition without question. Our Intuition is present to guide us towards the paths that will lead to our happiness - usually the path of least resistance. Although I’d love to strengthen this muscle through daily meditation, I don’t always have time; luckily being a parent has taught me that I need to simply trust myself.
It is so easy to zone out during our mundane tasks of the day. From doing dishes and folding laundry, to even driving to school or work, our thoughts can easily drift to alternate timelines. And as beautiful as it is to daydream, especially as it can contribute to manifesting your ideal life, it can also cause stress. When your thoughts constantly visit past events that caused unpleasant emotions, we can become depressed. Likewise, when our thoughts create uncomfortable scenarios in the future, we can become anxious. Being able to remain present helps us live in the here and now because face it - it’s the only thing that is true. You can practice mindfulness by simply paying attention to what you are doing. When you wash the dishes, feel the plate in your hands and how the water feels as it washes over them. I’m sure you’d agree that this is more pleasant than stressing over what was or might never be.
Who better to learn life lessons from than your partner, especially when there is conflict involved. I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and we have had our share of highs and lows. I can say with love that I am thankful for the many lessons I’ve learned during this time with him. Believe me, I didn’t always see it this way. I’ve seen it as a burden, as unnecessary and have wanted to give up on more than one occasion. But as I’ve grown spiritually, I have become more able to change the perspective during a conflict, observe and process the emotions objectively, and better understand the lesson from the situation. Everyone we encounter is someone in which we have a soul contract with. I like to think the person we chose to have a more intimate relationship with, like our boyfriends and spouses, are here to teach us the really big life lessons - like unconditional love.
They say that your purpose in life will come from something that will be a challenge for you. I knew I had a lot of greatness within me but struggled with how I was meant to share my story with the world. Once I changed my perspective, I was able to take my “challenge” and not only see opportunities but even find a purpose. I saw that I could help many other women who struggled with balancing the responsibilities of being a wife or mother, or even an employee or CEO, with finding time and space for self-love and self-care.
However, when I stepped back and looked at this even deeper, I was able to see the bigger role I am here to play - helping others change their perspective, in any situation, to one that is empowering instead of limiting. So not only has my family situation helped my spiritual growth, it’s lead me discover one of my purposes this lifetime and I’ve started building a soulful business around it.
The quicker that you are able to see that the conflicts, the situations, and the challenges that present in your life are actually little blessings that the Universe has tossed at you to keep you moving and to keep you evolving, the easier it will become to embrace them, learn from them, love them, and flow through them. It’s as simple as a shift in perspective.
Author: Toni Moné of Silfren Circle